AROUND THE WORLD-Must Read

The analyst called up and spoke. There was panic in his voice “Sit tight and don’t do anything rash. There is cold wind blowing all across Asia.”I folded my knees and sat tight and wore a sweater to protect myself from the chill winds.The analyst called again “You may be a boxing champion in your school but this is not the time to show any bravado. It is too cold out there. Continue to sit tight and do nothing.”“I am already sitting tight and it can’t get tighter any further because my knees have already gone past the thighs and is touching the back of the spine. If you suggest I will cover myself with a blanket too. Should I close the windows too?”“Do whatever you want but don’t go anywhere near the market.”“A little bit of light at the end of the tunnel” the voice said cheerfully “Although Australia is down, Nikkei is trading in green. So we will have to wait for Taiwan to open. The strategy is to do nothing.”“I am following your do-nothing strategy.”“Good news is that Taiwan too is trading higher but we will wait for a confirmation from Kospi.”I eagerly awaited the opening of Kospi and was thrilled when I saw it up.The analyst however, shot my enthusiasm down “Don’t read too much into Kospi. Hang Seng is the barometer of the Asian market and we should wait for it to open. All the same, no need to be grim but no need to smile either.”I loosened my facial muscles and drove the frown out my face but kept a tight leash on them so that it does not throw up a smile unnecessarily. After all, the analyst knows what he is talking about.Hang Seng too began trading higher and I thought worst is behind us.The voice said “Hold your breath. Hang Seng and Nikkei may be up but China is down and that calls for extreme caution.”
I began doing Pranayama as taught by Swami Ramdev and held my breath.The phone rang again “The indices have gone below the 200 DMA and try to lie low for some time.”I went below the sofa and stretched my leg to lie as low as possible and asked “This indices going below the 200 DMA, is it a serious thing?”“These technical terms are too complicated for veteran analysts. Just think that indices cross-over of 200 DMA is like Pakistan army crossing the LOC and firing. It is virtual curfew out there and no body is venturing out.”I pasted brown papers on the windows and put the light out and went into hiding.“Europe will open any moment now and if the indices go down you can say your last prayers.”I saw Footsie in red and began chanting Maha Mrintunjay mantra.“There is still hope if Fed cuts the rate and gives a leg up to Dow today night. So keep your eyes wide open.”I expanded my pupils and stretched my eye lids and put a plaster on them so that they remain wide open.“As expected the Fed has cut the rate by 75 basis points but we will have to watch how Nikkei reacts to it. So let’s go to bed and keep our fingers crossed.”I lay down on the bed and intertwined my fingers in mudra pose.Just then my wife came and shouted angrily “I have been watching you doing strange things all through out the day. What the hell is happening? Why are doing mudra instead of buying stocks which are looking so cheap?”I said that my analyist has asked me to sit tight, lie low and keep my fingers crossed which is what I am doing. She said “If you listen to a analyist's advice you will end up buying an umbrella at the end of the monsoon. It is only when the winter begins he will confirm that the heavy showers that fell and flooded the streets were actually part of the rainy season and will give a go-ahead to buy rainy shoes and umbrella.”
So if you’re wondering why there is no retail participation in the market you know why??